


Be Together

by suhoneymod



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-08 00:36:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6831775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suhoneymod/pseuds/suhoneymod
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Junmyeon thought he knew what he wanted. Then Jongin showed up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Be Together

**Author's Note:**

> Warning/s: kissing while drinking (all characters are of legal drinking age), brief mention of minor character death, discussions of/confusion over sexuality, sexytimes
> 
> Notes: I loved this prompt and I really hope I did it justice. 
> 
> (Prompt #128)
> 
> written by [snapbaeks](http://snapbaeks.livejournal.com/)

“How’d your date go last night?” Kyungsoo reaches across the table, plucking a french fry from Junmyeon’s plate and popping it into his mouth.

“Why don’t you just buy your own fries, Soo, instead of stealing ours all the time?” Baekhyun asks, slinging his arm around the back of Kyungsoo’s chair. He lays his hand tenderly on Kyungsoo’s shoulder and rubs it with his thumb.

“Why don’t you ever shut up,” Kyungsoo’s tone is harsh, but he leans against his boyfriend, softening and grinning up at him. 

Junmyeon watches with amusement as Baekhyun brushes Kyungsoo’s hair off his forehead, only to be rewarded with a pinch to his side. Junmyeon has been friends with the pair since middle school, and had been not-surprised-at-all when they had announced during their third year in high school that they were, in fact, together and had been for a while. It grosses Junmyeon out how cute they are. He hopes to find that for himself one day.

“So?” Baekhyun asks, kicking Junmyeon under the table. “How was it?”

Junmyeon takes a long sip of his beer, settling back into his chair. “She was okay.”

“No second date?” Kyungsoo has that look again. The one that says _I can’t tell you how to live your life but I kind of want to_.

“I don’t think so. She was nice, and pretty enough, but-”

“But she didn’t sweep you off your feet.” The corners of Kyungsoo’s lips curl downward, like he’s disappointed. These conversations always go this way.

“Exactly.” What’s wrong with wanting to be swept off his feet?

“Junmyeon, I don’t even want to think about how many potentially wonderful girlfriends you’ve missed out on just because they didn’t match up to your drama fantasy.” 

Junmyeon sighs, running a hand through his hair. “I just don’t want to waste my time.” 

“You don’t think going on thousands of first dates and never bothering to see them again is a waste of time?” This time it’s Baekhyun giving him a disapproving look, and Junmyeon’s tired of this conversation.

“I’d hardly say thousands.” 

Kyungsoo’s eyes soften and it reminds Junmyeon that they’re just looking out for him. “You get our point, Junmyeon.”

He does, but there’s nothing wrong with wanting a love that will blow him away - Someone who will knock him off his feet and take his breath away and all those other love story clichés. He sighs, running a hand over his face and into his hair. “I don’t even know why you guys bother asking me about my dates anymore. You always get so exasperated with me.” Kyungsoo gives him a half-smile and Junmyeon knows it means _I’m sorry_. “How about we just say if I find someone worthwhile, I’ll let you know.”

“Sounds good.” They clink their bottles together in agreement.

The next few moments pass in silence, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo exchanging glances that Junmyeon can only imagine are their secret way of talking about him when he’s right there.

Junmyeon knows that his friends are right. He probably needs to lower his expectations for a first date, but he’s just gotten it into his head that the moment you meet the person you’re going to spend your life with is supposed to be spectacular, equipped with slow motion and dramatic soundtracks and fireworks. He knows how ridiculous that is, but he can’t help it that he feels disappointed when all of his first dates are just… _nice_. His heart doesn’t pound, he doesn’t feel the butterflies, at best it’s just _nice_ , and he wants more than nice.

“Are you joining us tonight, Myeon?” Baekhyun asks when they’ve finished their meals.

“Yeah, I think I will. I haven’t gone out dancing in a while.” Maybe he’ll get lucky and finally meet the girl of his dreams.

“I invited a friend.” Baekhyun says, and Junmyeon narrows his eyes at him, remembering the last time Baekhyun had tried to set him up and the girl just spent the entire night comparing Junmyeon to her ex. That had _not_ been one of the nice dates.

“I really would rather you not set me up-”

Baekhyun waves a hand; cutting him off before he can finish. “I’m not setting you up, Junmyeon. I know better than that by now. It’s a guy anyway. A friend I met while studying in the states. He’s here for the summer and wanted to meet up. His name is Jongin.”

Junmyeon can’t place why at first, but the name rings something in him and he leans forward in his seat. “Jongin..” he repeats, gaining a quizzical look from Baekhyun. “I think I know a Jongin, or knew anyway.”

“Probably not this one.” Baekhyun says, “he’s lived in America since he was 9.”

“Shit!” Junmyeon nearly shouts, realization suddenly hitting, then covers his mouth with the back of his hand when Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow at him. “I think I know him! Kim Jongin? He’d be about 25 now.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right.”

“No fucking way,” Junmyeon laughs, and Baekhyun’s brow furrows in confusion.

“If it’s the same guy, he was my neighbor as a kid. We were pretty much inseparable. I remember being completely devastated when he moved away. I thought my world was going to end.”

Baekhyun picks up his phone and scrolls through hundreds of photos before landing on a picture of Jongin. “Recognize him?” He passes the phone to Junmyeon.

Wow, Junmyeon thinks, he’s obviously much older, 16 years to be exact, but there’s no mistaking those pouty lips, and dark brown eyes, that’s Jongin alright. “Yeah, that’s gotta be him.”

“Small fucking world,” Kyungsoo muses.

“I never thought I’d see him again, wow.”

☆

Junmyeon still remembers the day Jongin’s family moved in next door so clearly. Junmyeon had been 8 years old, living with his grandparents in a small village and there weren’t many children his age, so when he had seen the small boy, clutching a teddy bear in his little hands as he walked up the narrow staircase that led to the small cluster of houses tucked away on the hillside, Junmyeon ran to greet him.

“Hi!” He shouted, startling the boy, who backed sheepishly into his mother’s legs. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, I’m Junmyeon. Let’s be friends!”

The boy turned to bury his face in his mother’s dress, hugging his teddy bear closely to his chest.

“It’s okay, Jongin,” the boy’s mother whispered, smiling softly at Junmyeon. “Why don’t you say hello to Junmyeon?” 

The boy just shook his head.

“I’m sorry,” the boy’s mother offered, “he can be very shy sometimes. I’m Mrs. Kim, and this here,” she patted the boy’s head, “is Jongin.”

“It’s very nice to meet you, Mrs. Kim,” Junmyeon said, extending his hand. She took it and gave it a little squeeze and Junmyeon marveled at how soft her skin felt - so much different than his grandmother’s, which was rough and calloused from so many years of working outside in the fields. 

“Junmyeon, darling,” his grandmother called from the front porch. “Why don’t you let them get settled, honey?”

“Okay grandma,” he shouted, making Jongin flinch. “It was nice to meet you, Jongin. If you want to come and play later, that’s my house over there.” Junmyeon pointed to the small house at the top of the hill and waited for a response, but the boy merely peeked out from behind the folds of his mother’s dress, then promptly hid his face when he noticed Junmyeon looking at him.

“I don’t think he likes me very much,” Junmyeon had pouted when he reached his front door.

“Just give him time, Junmyeon, I’m sure he’s just shy.” His grandmother ruffled his hair, then hugged him to her side. “I’m sure you’ll become fast friends.

“I hope so.”

She’d been right about that. Jongin’s mother had brought him around later that night and after a few minutes of awkward silence, the boys had begun to play together in Junmyeon’s room. After that they were practically inseparable. Jongin spent most nights at Junmyeon’s house and they went everywhere together. Junmyeon had been so happy to finally have a friend close to his age, and somewhere in his little heart, he knew that Jongin would be his best friend forever.

That was, until three and a half years later when Jongin told him that he was going away; his family was moving to America. Junmyeon had cried so hard and his grandmother had tried to console him, but Junmyeon was devastated. 

They promised to stay in touch, to write letters and visit whenever possible, and for a year or two they had succeeded, but as they grew up, they drifted and Jongin became a fond memory that Junmyeon would look back on.

☆

“You seem nervous,” Baekhyun says, leaning against the brick wall outside the club.

Junmyeon fidgets with the hem of his shirt, shifting his weight from his left to his right foot, and then back again. “It’s weird,” he says, “I haven’t seen him since I was 11 years old, but it feels important that I’m seeing him again after so much time. I feel more nervous right now than I ever do before a date. Is that weird?”

He looks at Kyungsoo, who shrugs. “From the stories you’ve told us, it seems like you guys were really close. I think it’s normal to feel anxious, seeing him after so much time has passed.”

“Yeah,” Junmyeon smiles fondly, remembering how Jongin used to follow him everywhere, clutching Junmyeon’s hand as they explored all that their small village had to offer. “He practically lived at my house, used to climb through my bedroom window when he had a bad dream. I was so young, but I thought he’d be around forever.”

“Well you’ll see him soon enough, he just texted me.” Baekhyun waves his phone in Junmyeon’s direction. “Said he’s about a block away.”

Junmyeon takes a deep breath, wringing his hands. “Does he know? Did you tell him?”

“No, but you can tell him yourself now, there he is.” Baekhyun pushes himself off the wall, waving, and Junmyeon follows the direction of his eyes, his heart hammering in his chest as Jongin comes into view. He can’t explain why he’s so nervous, maybe it’s a fear of Jongin being so different, or Junmyeon himself being a disappointment. Maybe Jongin won’t even remember him.

He glances at Kyungsoo, who is looking at him with worry. “You gonna be okay, buddy?”

Junmyeon nods.

“Jongin! It’s so good to see you.” Baekhyun greets Jongin with a hug. “This, as you know, is my boyfriend, Kyungsoo.” 

Jongin bows politely, smiling wide as he shakes Kyungsoo’s hand and Junmyeon is struck by how handsome he is. 

“And this,” Baekhyun gestures toward where Junmyeon stands, a few steps behind the others, “is Junmyeon.”

“Junmyeon, hi.” Jongin bows again, taking Junmyeon’s hand in a firm handshake and all Junmyeon can do is stare. Jongin looks so different, so much older, but his eyes are still the same, soft eyes, his lips still pink and pouty. “I used to know someone named Junmyeon.” His smile widens.

“Um, that’s actually- I’m Junmyeon.” Jongin looks at him, his brow furrowing in confusion, but then Junmyeon catches a hint of recognition in his eyes and he smiles sheepishly. “Hi.” He says quietly.

“Kim Junmyeon? Myeonnie?” 

Junmyeon hears Baekhyun repeat the nickname with disbelief, and then Kyungsoo telling him to shut up, but Junmyeon is too wrapped up in the moment to really care about any of that. “It’s me.” He chews on his lip nervously, waiting for Jongin’s reaction.

“Oh my god!” He says in perfectly accented English and then he’s pulling Junmyeon in for a hug. Junmyeon is not usually one to enjoy affection from people he doesn’t know, but Jongin’s arms feel familiar, like home. He wraps his own arms around Jongin’s waist. 

“I can’t believe it.” He says against Jongin’s muscled shoulder and he feels Jongin’s arms tighten around him. 

When Jongin pulls away, he puts his hands on Junmyeon’s shoulders, studying his face, and Junmyeon can’t help but smile widely. “You got tall.” Junmyeon observes and Jongin laughs, his eyes squeezing into crescents and his shoulders shaking. 

“As much as I hate to break up the reunion,” Baekhyun says, slinging his arm over Kyungsoo’s shoulder, “I’m trying to get drunk, so-”

☆

Inside, the club is dark and noisy, and Jongin has to lean in close and speak directly into Junmyeon’s ear to be heard as they wait at the bar for their drinks. His breath fans over Junmyeon’s cheek. It tickles.

“I just got here a week ago,” he half shouts into Junmyeon’s ear. 

“Did your mother come with you? I’d love to see her again!” Junmyeon leans closer, his arm brushing Jongin’s.

“Um, no.” Jongin’s expression falls and he shifts uncomfortably. “She, um. She actually passed away.”

Junmyeon’s stomach drops. “I’m so sorry I didn’t-”

“No it’s okay.” He forces a smile and it hurts Junmyeon’s chest. “It happened a few years ago.”

Junmyeon feels the urge to apologize again, but instead he rests his hand on the small of Jongin’s back. “She was a beautiful woman,” he says after a moment of silence passes between them. 

Jongin smiles then, a genuine smile that makes his eyes sparkle. “She was.”

Just then, the bartender returns with their drinks, a beer for Jongin and a strawberry daiquiri for Junmyeon. Jongin looks at the drink in Junmyeon’s hand with disdain. “Really?”

“What? It’s delicious!”

“If you say so.”

Baekhyun steps between them, throw his arms over their shoulders and looking between them. “You guys dancing or what?” 

The rest of the night passes in a blur. They’d tried to hold a conversation on the dance floor, catching up on the past 16 years, but quickly gave up. Instead, Junmyeon watched with amazement as Jongin danced. It’s almost as if he was one with the music, his body flowing fluidly and gracefully and Junmyeon was mesmerized. He felt incompetent in comparison. He never was much of a dancer, his movements too stiff and slightly off beat, but Jongin led him, with warm hands on his hips. “There you go,” he’d coached, “just loosen up. You got it.”

They’ve been dancing for hours when Junmyeon notices that Baekhyun and Kyungsoo are nowhere to be found. “Where the fuck did they go? They’ve done this to me before.” Junmyeon glowers, remembering that night last summer when they’d been too eager for each other to wait until they got home. Baekhyun had pulled Kyungsoo into a dark corner of the club and shoved his hand down the front of Kyungsoo’s pants getting both of them kicked out. They hadn’t bothered to find or even text Junmyeon. Although, Junmyeon thinks, he can’t be too mad about that. He had gotten laid that night, after all.

Jongin’s face millimeters from his own brings Junmyeon back to the present. “Earth to Myeonnie.” Jongin’s smile is radiant and Junmyeon’s chest feels warm. 

“Sorry.”

“Wanna get out of here? I’d really love to catch up.”

“Yeah. I know this really great chicken place about two blocks from here.”

“Perfect.” Jongin beams. “I love chicken.”

The air outside the club is cool and refreshing. Junmyeon pushes his hair off his forehead, then wipes his sweaty hand on his pants. 

“Your hair,” Jongin laughs, reaching up to smooth it down. His hand brushes Junmyeon’s cheek as he lowers it again and Jongin’s smile shifts into something Junmyeon can’t read. 

“What?”

“I don’t know, it’s weird.” Jongin says, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I haven’t seen you in what, 16 years?” Junmyeon nods. “16 years, and somehow it feels like I never left? You feel so comfortable, if that makes sense.”

“It does.” Junmyeon agrees. He’s been feeling it himself all night. “Let’s get some food.”

The walk to the restaurant is quiet, but comfortable, and Junmyeon keeps catching Jongin sneaking glances at him. There’s a quiet kind of excitement that has settled in Junmyeon’s chest since he laid eyes on Jongin outside the club and he smiles to himself. 

“What?” Jongin asks this time, nudging Junmyeon’s hip with his own. “You keep smiling.”

“I kind of just can’t believe you’re really here? I never thought I’d see you again.”

“I thought about you a lot.” Jongin says, steering Junmyeon around a puddle with a hand gripping his elbow.

“Really?”

“Yeah. Definitely. I was so young back then but I’ll never forget the way you looked after me. How you made me feel so safe and protected. It’s like I had a big brother without all the sibling rivalry.” He laughs and the sound wraps itself around Junmyeon, settling in his bones. Junmyeon loves the way it makes him feel. “I always wondered what you were up to.”

It’s Junmyeon’s turn to laugh, albeit bitterly. “The answer to that question is a whole lot of nothing, I’m sorry to say.”

“That can’t be true.”

“Sadly, it is.” Junmyeon sighs, pressing his hand to Jongin’s waist to guide him as they turn the corner. “I just work. Work and hang out with Baekhyun and Kyungsoo. That’s pretty much the extent of it.” He decides to leave out the countless hours spent watching dramas on TV and the countless failed dates he’s been on in the last few years.

“Well, that’s something.”

“Nothing worth writing home about.”

“Do you have a girlfriend? Boyfriend?”

Junmyeon snorts. “I’m afraid my love life is just as disappointing as the rest of my life.” Junmyeon means it as a joke, but Jongin frowns at him. 

Junmyeon is relieved to see that they’ve reached the restaurant - he really doesn’t feel like elaborating on all the ways his life is lacking. 

The remainder of their night is spent catching up over fried chicken and probably more beers than necessary. Junmyeon tells Jongin about his move to Seoul in middle school for better education, tells stories of growing up with Kyungsoo and Baekhyun. He tells him about his job as an editor for an entertainment website - not his dream job, but he’s happy enough there. At least he gets to write and he can work from home. Jongin listens with interest, asking questions, and he’s so easy to talk to.

Junmyeon learns that Jongin is a dancer, and he believes it with the way he’d moved on the dance floor. He tells Junmyeon that he’s here not only to visit his grandparents, but to help his cousin, Sehun, choreograph for his studio’s big competition in July. Jongin shares stories of his childhood, growing up in California, how hard it had been for him at first not knowing any English. He speaks of his friends and his family, his boyfriend, his mother, and Junmyeon’s heart constricts at the way the younger man’s eyes twinkle when he remembers her. 

Junmyeon finds himself lost in the low timbre of Jongin’s voice, silky and soothing and he leans forward, resting his chin in his hand, suddenly fascinated by the way Jongin’s mouth forms the words he speaks. Jongin is telling Junmyeon about a book he’s been reading when Junmyeon notices something. “Your accent,” he says, cutting Jongin off mid-sentence. 

“What?” Jongin cocks his head to the side, and Junmyeon thinks he’s still so cute after all these years.

“Your accent,” he repeats, stretching one arm out across the table and resting his cheek on his bicep. “It’s cute. You’re cute.” He should probably stop drinking after this beer, his head is spinning and it’s starting to get warm in here.

Jongin smiles down at him and pinches his cheek. “I wasn’t aware I had one.” He folds his arms in front of him, using them to pillow his head and his face is suddenly very close to Junmyeon’s own. 

“You sound American.” 

“That makes sense.” Jongin laughs, and his breath puffs hot against Junmyeon’s face. 

“How’d you grow up so handsome, Jonginnie?” Junmyeon reaches out with his free hand, brushing Jongin’s fringe off his forehead. It’s odd, he thinks, how he feels so comfortable with someone who is practically a stranger to him, but it’s nice and it makes him feel warm and fuzzy. Or maybe that’s just the copious amounts of alcohol he’s consumed throughout the night.

“We should probably get out of here.” Jongin says after a beat of silence. “Before they kick us out for being too drunk.”

“I’m not drunk.” Junmyeon whines, even as the room spins around him when he sits up. “Okay, maybe a little bit drunk.”

Jongin laughs again, and it’s such a lovely sound. He tells Jongin so. “Let me help you, Myeonnie,” he offers, and Junmyeon beams at him. He always loved that nickname. No one ever called him that aside from his grandmother and Jongin. It’s nice to hear again after all these years. 

Junmyeon nearly trips over his own feet as Jongin helps him out of his chair and Junmyeon leans against the younger boy. He is warm and solid and he smells so lovely and Junmyeon wraps his arms around his slender waist. “You smell good.” Junmyeon says, pressing his nose to the soft cotton of Jongin’s t-shirt. 

“You really don’t hold your alcohol well, do you,” Jongin muses with a smile as he guides Junmyeon carefully down the stairs and outside. 

“Guilty.” Junmyeon touches a finger to his nose. “Just give me a minute.” He leans back against the restaurant’s brick wall, closing his eyes and he takes a deep breath, the crisp night air making his head feel a little less fuzzy. 

“You okay?” 

Junmyeon opens his eyes again, pleased to see that the spinning has stopped. “I think I just needed some fresh air.” He fishes his phone out of his pocket. 3am. Shit, when did it get that late? “It’s definitely time for me to go to bed though. Where are you staying?”

“To be honest,” Jongin frowns, “I don’t really know. I mean I can’t remember how to get there from here.” 

“Do you want to crash at my place tonight? I’m not far from here.”

“Yeah,” Jongin nods, smiling. “Yeah, that would be great, thank you.”

“Of course.”

☆

Junmyeon wakes in the morning to a pounding headache and a dry mouth. He digs the heels of his hands into his eyes, groaning as he turns away from the light streaming in through his window. He attempts to roll onto his stomach but is stopped by a solid warm body. He blinks his eyes open in confusion, not quite conscious yet, and then Jongin’s peaceful sleeping face comes into focus. He vaguely remembers the two of them reaching the apartment last night, fumbling for his keys, but then everything goes fuzzy. He has no idea what Jongin is doing in his bed.

“Jongin?” Junmyeon places a hand on Jongin’s shoulder, shaking him gently. “Jongin.” 

Jongin stirs, opening his eyes and stretching his arms above his head, a smile spreading across his face. “Good morning.” He says and then he must read Junmyeon’s confusion because his smile fades. “You wouldn’t let me leave last night.”

“What do you mean?” 

“I helped you to bed and you….wouldn’t let me leave. You grabbed my arm and pulled me in with you.” Jongin pokes him in the ribs. “I think you wanted to cuddle. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep here.”

“No, it’s-” Junmyeon can feel his cheeks turning pink with embarrassment. “Don’t worry about it, it’s fine. I’m probably the one who should apologize.”

“Nonsense, you’re a very good cuddling partner.” Jongin smiles again and Junmyeon wonders how someone can look so radiant first thing in the morning after a night of heavy drinking. “Thanks for letting me stay here.” He says, running a hand through his mussed hair.

“Of course.” Junmyeon says, scooting closer to Jongin and draping an arm over his waist. He doesn’t really know what made him do it, but Jongin doesn’t seem to mind, so he leaves it there.

“Do you have any plans for the day?” 

“I was going to order Jjaajangmyun and catch up on Descendants of the Sun, why?” Jongin raises an eyebrow at him. “I told you my life is sad.”

“Do you think you could put those plans on hold and go out for breakfast with me?”

“I think I can do that.”

☆

“So how was the rest of your night last night?” Baekhyun asks when Junmyeon arrives at the apartment he shares with Kyungsoo later that evening.

“It was actually really nice.” Junmyeon says, toeing off his shoes. “No thanks to you.” He jabs Baekhyun in the ribs with his finger. “You two are always disappearing on me.”

“We went to the bathroom and came back and you were gone.” Kyungsoo calls from the kitchen, where he’s cutting vegetables.

Junmyeon walks further into the apartment, handing Baekhyun a plastic bag with a six-pack of beer. “Jongin and I went for chicken and beer because I thought you two had ditched me to have semi-public sex again.”

Baekhyun makes a lewd gesture with his hand and his tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek, then holds a finger to his lips. “Shhh.” 

“I saw that,” comes Kyungsoo’s voice from the kitchen and Junmyeon laughs. 

“You guys are honestly insatiable.” Junmyeon heads toward the kitchen to help, but Kyungsoo gestures toward the couch. 

“Go sit. I’m about to put the pizza in the oven.” Baekhyun walks up behind Kyungsoo, putting his hands on the smaller mans hips and biting his shoulder. Kyungsoo digs his elbow into Baekhyun’s ribs. “You too.”

“Fine.” Baekhyun picks up a pepper and pops in into his mouth, then grabs two beers from the fridge and joins Junmyeon on the couch. “So then you guys had a good time catching up?”

“It’s honestly so bizarre.” Junmyeon twists the cap off his beer and tosses it on the coffee table. 

“How so?”

“We only knew each other for 3 years when we were kids, and now, sixteen years later, it’s like we were never apart. I don’t understand it, but it’s kind of nice.” He puts his feet up on the coffee table crossing his legs at the ankle. “He even stayed over last night and then we went to breakfast this morning.”

“When you say he stayed over last night…” Baekhyun waggles his eyebrows in lieu of finishing his sentence.

“Why would your mind even go there, Baekhyun, no, he just couldn’t remember how to get home and it was late.” 

“I’m glad you guys hit it off so well.” Kyungsoo says, emerging from the kitchen. “I know you have a hard time making close friends.” Coming from anyone else, Junmyeon would find that comment harsh, but Kyungsoo is always looking out for him, and it’s really not untrue. 

“Thanks. I hope I get to see him again soon.”

☆

**MESSAGE FROM JONGIN**  
 _can i come over?_  
 _i’ll bring soju :)_

**MESSAGE TO JONGIN**  
_in that case, yes_

When Jongin arrives, Junmyeon is halfway through the most recent episode of _Descendants of the Sun_. 

“Not you too,” Jongin says as he sits next to Junmyeon on the couch.

“What do you mean?”

“Everyone’s obsessed with this show. My grandmother watches it, too, but I just don’t get it.”

“This show is amazing, okay? I can’t believe I invite you into my home and you repay me by questioning my choice of TV show.”

“I brought soju, though.” Jongin smiles at him, pulling a green bottle out of the plastic bag on the floor by his feet.

“I guess I can forgive you then.”

“Do you have anything to pour this in?” 

“In the cabinet over the sink.” Junmyeon points in the direction of his kitchen. “Why don’t you go grab them and I’ll queue up the first episode so you can see what you’re missing.”

Jongin gives Junmyeon a disapproving look and Junmyeon grins at him, batting his eyelashes. “Fine, but only one episode.”

“You say that now.” 

Four hours and as many episodes later, Jongin yawns stretching his arms over his head. “I should probably go home, it’s really late.” He pouts then, slumping over onto Junmyeon’s shoulder, who puts his arm around Jongin, stroking his hair. “But that’s too much work.” 

“You can stay here, Jongin. You’re always welcome here.”

Jongin sits up again, smiling at Junmyeon and Junmyeon swears his eyes sparkle. _This boy is too handsome_. “You’re the best, you know that, right?” Jongin ruffles Junmyeon’s hair and the touch sends warmth radiating through Junmyeon’s body.

“I’ll take the couch, you can sleep in my bed.”

Jongin frowns at him. “Nonsense, this is your house, I’m not putting you out.”

“Jongin,” Junmyeon protests, but Jongin quiets him with a finger to his lips. 

“You’re sleeping in your bed or I’m not staying.”

“You could just share it with me.” Junmyeon says after a beat of silence. He thinks in the back of his mind that maybe it’s a bit weird for two grown men to platonically share a bed together, but it’s _Jongin_ it just feels normal. It’s just like when they were kids.

“You really are the best, Myeonnie.”

☆

Over the next few weeks, Junmyeon sees a lot of Jongin. Usually Jongin will stop by Junmyeon’s apartment after a day at Sehun’s studio, since Junmyeon lives in the neighborhood and they’ll watch TV. Jongin had taken so well to _Descendants of the Sun_ , so Junmyeon introduces him to some of his favorite drams - the ones he used to watch with his grandmother as a child.

Jongin mostly sleeps over, since his grandmother lives outside of the city and their drama marathons tend to run into the early morning hours. Junmyeon grows so used to having Jongin in his bed that the nights that Jongin goes home, Junmyeon finds it hard to sleep. 

Junmyeon finds himself going on fewer dates, his nights filled with Jongin’s laugh and Jongin’s adorable Korean, and Jongin’s head on his shoulder. He’s growing attached and he doesn’t want to think about what it will be like when Jongin leaves him again. He’s not ready for that.

☆

“Can I confess something?” Junmyeon asks as he helps Kyungsoo clean up the kitchen after dinner.

“Shoot.” He takes a stack of plates from Junmyeon and places them in the sink.

“I’m worried I’m growing too attached to Jongin.” It’s a thought that’s been sitting in the back of his mind for the past few days, but it’s the first time he’s giving it careful consideration.

“How so,” asks Kyungsoo, his brow furrowing.

“I..miss him when I’m not with him. Even if it’s only for a day. I just-” He leans back against the counter and Kyungsoo turns the water off, wiping his hands on his apron and focusing his attention on Junmyeon. “I get really excited to see him and then when he leaves I wish he was still there. Is that weird?”

“Honestly,” Kyungsoo says, “It kinda sounds like you’ve got a little crush on him.”

Junmyeon makes a face. “But it’s _Jongin_. And I’ve never crushed on a guy before. I think I’m just happy to see him again and trying to make up for all that lost time.” 

Kyungsoo shrugs. “Maybe, but I’ve seen you with him. I’ve never seen you look at anyone the way you look at him. And you’re always checking your phone when he’s not around, like you’re waiting for him to contact you.”

“Do I really do that?” Junmyeon’s not conscious of this, but Kyungsoo’s not the type to make that up. Baekhyun, maybe, but not Kyungsoo.

Junmyeon’s phone chooses that moment to buzz in his pocket, and he pulls it out, trying to stop himself from grinning when he sees Jongin’s name on the screen. 

“Amazing.” Kyungsoo says. “Look at you, you’re practically giddy right now.”

 _Can’t make it tonight. working late on some choreography with sehun_ it reads, and Junmyeon deflates. “He can’t make it tonight,” he says to Kyungsoo, who lays a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Sorry, buddy.”

His phone buzzes again and this time it’s a picture of Jongin, his sweaty hair matted to his forehead and he’s sporting a pout. Junmyeon’s heart swells and he presses his palm to his chest.

“See this is what I’m talking about. I haven’t seen you like this since college.”

“It’s really nothing, Soo. I’m just happy to have him back in my life.” 

_fighting_ , he types to Jongin.

_don’t you dare watch descendants of the sun without me :-p_

It’s not a crush, he tells himself, Jongin’s just a very important person in his life. Yes, that’s it.

☆

It’s been just over two months since Jongin barged back into Junmyeon’s life and he’s been such a welcome addition, but Junmyeon can’t help but think about the fact that he only has a few more weeks with Jongin until he returns to the states, and Junmyeon’s not ready to give him up. He’s become such a huge, important part of Junmyeon’s life. Which is why Junmyeon needs to put those negative thoughts aside and help Jongin celebrate Sehun’s studio taking first place in their competition.

“There you are.” Jongin’s voice is suddenly in Junmyeon’s ear and Jongin’s hands slide around Junmyeon’s waist. He rests his shoulder on Junmyeon’s shoulder and Junmyeon leans back against his chest.

“Hey you.” Junmyeon turns his head and is met with one of Jongin’s breathtaking smiles. “I’m getting us more drinks.” As if on queue, the bartender comes back with a beer for Jongin and a strawberry daiquiri for Junmyeon and Jongin shakes his head, laughing.

“I still can’t believe you drink those all night. They’d give me such a stomachache.” 

“Good thing it’s me drinking them and not you.” He turns in Jongin’s hold, handing Jongin his beer. 

“Follow me” Jongin says, taking Junmyeon by the hand and leading him to the dance floor. 

Junmyeon finds it a bit awkward to dance while carrying his drink so he downs it quickly and finds an empty table to set the glass down on. His dancing is still a bit stiff, but he likes to think that with Jongin’s tutelage he’s gotten at least a little bit better at dancing and the alcohol has definitely helped to loosen him up. 

Junmyeon scans the room and his eyes catch on a familiar girl. He’s seen her here before, even danced with her once, and he’s feeling buzzed enough to have the courage to approach her again. He never did get her name, but he thinks if he gives it another chance, he might get lucky.

“Where are you going?” Jongin’s lips brush Junmyeon’s ear as the opening beats of Nine Inch Nails’ _Closer_ start to play and a chill rolls down Junmyeon’s spine. He’s suddenly forgotten all about that girl. “Dance with me.” Jongin’s hands are on his hips and this is nothing new, but when Junmyeon looks at him, Jongin’s eyes are dark and Junmyeon feels pinned in place by his gaze. His cheeks are burning. Something feels different, but Junmyeon can’t put his finger on it. Hesitantly, his hands find Jongin’s waist and Junmyeon swears he hears Jongin’s breath hitch. 

He lets himself be led by Jongin’s hands on his hips, moving in time with the heavy electronic bass. It feels almost as if the music has grown quieter and Jongin’s face is the only thing in focus. He looks more handsome then ever and Junmyeon thinks his lips look so soft. Junmyeon feels a drop of sweat rolling down his temple and his neck and he notices Jongin’s eyes follow its downward trajectory. When Jongin’s eyes land on Junmyeon’s neck, Junmyeon’s cheeks burn and heat grows in his belly. Something in Junmyeon’s mind registers that this is a little weird. The fact that his body is reacting this way to his friend is not something Junmyeon can explain, but when Jongin’s hand presses against the small of Junmyeon’s back, his thigh slotting between Junmyeon’s legs, Junmyeon loves the way it makes him feel. Goosebumps break out on his arms and a tingle rolls down his spine and he feels so hot. 

The bass buzzes through his body and he feels Jongin’s eyes on him and he just feels so _good_. Without a thought, Junmyeon slides his hands from where they rest on Jongin’s waist up to hook over his shoulders and he buries his face in Jongin’s sweaty neck. He still smells so good and Junmyeon thinks he hears himself whimper as Jongin’s thumb presses into his hipbone. 

Junmyeon’s brain feels fuzzy, his body is on autopilot, he fists his hands in Jongin’s shirt and his lips graze Jongin’s collarbone. He lets Jongin lead him with one hand on his hip and one sliding under the back of his shirt. He presses closer and slides his hands down Jongin’s back and to the slope of his ass and Jongin gasps close to his ear. 

Junmyeon almost feels as though he’s experiencing all of this from outside of himself, like his limbs are moving on their own and Junmyeon doesn’t fight it, willing to go wherever this is leading. Suddenly Jongin’s thumb is tucked under Junmyeon’s chin and he’s lifting Junmyeon’s head, looking down at him with dark eyes. Jongin bites his lip and Junmyeon’s stomach flips and there’s a moment when time seems to stop and the only thing Junmyeon knows is Jongin. 

Junmyeon is about to close the distance between them, wondering vaguely if Jongin’s lips feel as soft as they look, when Jongin’s phone buzzes in his pocket and it’s as if the spell is broken. Junmyeon takes a step back as Jongin pulls his phone from his jeans. “Fuck.” He says. “It’s my boyfriend. I should take this.” Junmyeon’s stomach turns. Jongin disappears. Everything is confusing.

“Um what the fuck was that?” Baekhyun’s voice is somewhere to his left.

“Hmm?” Junmyeon is still in a daze.

“That looked rather…intimate.”

“I don’t know, I think I just got lost in the music.” And maybe Jongin.

☆

Junmyeon stares at his blank computer screen, finally giving in to defeat. He’s not going to have this article written tonight. It’s been a few days since that weird night at the club and Junmyeon hasn’t heard much from Jongin aside from the occasional text. He can’t get his mind off of him, and it’s distracting Junmyeon from his work. He closes his laptop, hoping that he’ll be able to focus better tomorrow.

He’s just about to turn in for the night when he hears a knock at the door. He glances at the clock. 3am. Who the fuck would be here at this time in the morning. He shuffles to the door, ready to give whoever is there an earful, but when he opens it he sees Jongin there, his eyes red and swollen, and Junmyeon’s heart sinks. “Jongin? Jongin what is it?”

Jongin sniffles, wiping his nose on the back of his hand and Junmyeon is reminded of their childhood. He thinks of the first night that Jongin had knocked on his bedroom window, standing in the yard in his pajamas clutching his little teddy bear to his chest. He’d been crying and Junmyeon had helped him climb through the window and tucked him into his bed to warm him. Junmyeon hadn’t asked him what was wrong, he’d just held him and comforted him until he’d fallen asleep, then phoned Jongin’s mother so she wouldn’t worry if she found his bed empty in the morning.

“Can I come in?” Jongin says, weakly, and it hurts Junmyeon’s chest how vulnerable he sounds.

“Shit, yes, come here.” Junmyeon holds out his arms and Jongin steps inside, wrapping his arms around Junmyeon’s waist and burying his face against his neck. Junmyeon can feel his tears wetting his t-shirt. He lets Jongin stand there for as long as he needs to, rubbing circles on his back. After a few moments, Jongin sniffles, standing up straight and wiping his eyes on his sleeves.

“I’m sorry to barge in, I just. You were always good at comforting me when I was upset and you’re just the first person I thought of and you’re in your pajamas, you were probably about to go to bed, but I-“

“Jongin, don’t be silly. Come here.” Junmyeon takes him by the hand and leads him back to his bedroom. It probably would have made more sense to just sit on the couch, but the whole situation is so reminiscent of their childhood and this just feels like the right thing to do.

“Thank you.” Jongin says when he’s tucked comfortably into Junmyeon’s bed and Junmyeon climbs in after him, wrapping his arms around Jongin and hugging him to his chest.

“Of course.” He runs his hands through Jongin’s hair, scratching at his scalp, just like he used to do when they were children and Jongin relaxes against him. “Do you need anything?”

Jongin shakes his head and his hair tickles Junmyeon’s chin. Junmyeon just lays there, listening to the sound of Jongin’s breathing, which has started to become more regular as he starts to calm down. 

“I decided to stay.” Jongin says. Junmyeon thought he’d already fallen asleep.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m going stay here, in Seoul.” 

“For how long?”

“For good.” Junmyeon is surprised and relieved, but he doesn’t like the fact that Jongin is so upset. Shouldn’t he be happy, too? “There’s not really anything for me in California. My grandmother is here, I love working at the studio.” He tightens his arm around Junmyeon’s waist. “There’s you.”

Junmyeon feels his heart swell and he presses a kiss to the top of his head. The gesture is common between them, but it feels a little strange after their whatever-that-was at the club. Junmyeon doesn’t like the anxious feeling that bubbles up inside of him every time he thinks about that night. Even if Junmyeon were gay, (or bisexual or whatever) Jongin has a boyfriend - who, Junmyeon has just realized, Jongin didn’t mention. “But what about your boyfriend?”

Jongin tenses. “Yeah…”

“Oh. You don’t have to tell me about it.”

“No it’s okay.” Jongin sniffles. “I told him I thought I might stick around for a few more months and he-” His voice wavers. “He didn’t like that so much.”

“I’m really sorry, Jongin.” Junmyeon hugs him tighter and Jongin shifts closer, nuzzling Junmyeon’s collarbone. Junmyeon hopes Jongin can’t feel how fast his heart is beating. He doesn’t know why it’s doing that. Jongin confuses him.

“Things weren’t really that great between us anyway.”

“If you need somewhere to live, at least until you find a place of your own, you can always stay here.” Junmyeon definitely realizes how bad of an idea that may be, considering his current state of confusion when it comes to Jongin, but he wants to help. Jongin props himself up onto his elbow, looking down at Junmyeon like he’s about to turn down his offer. “Since your grandmother lives so far from the studio and you practically live here anyway.” Junmyeon grins at him, brushing his hair off his forehead. “It’ll finally give me a reason to clean out the spare room.”

Jongin’s mouth stretches into a smile and it almost looks out of place without how red and swollen his eyes are, but he still manages to look beautiful. “I love you Kim Junmyeon,” he says, collapsing on top of Junmyeon and kissing his neck.

_What am I doing?_

☆

Jongin proves himself to be an excellent roommate. He spends the days at the dance studio and Junmyeon is able to get most of his work done while Jongin is away. Then at night, they marathon their favorite shows together, or go out with their friends. Jongin even helps Junmyeon get ready for his dates, giving him honest opinions on his outfits and sending him encouraging text messages throughout the night. In the end it doesn’t really make a difference, as he has yet to have a second date with any of the girls he goes out with.

That fact begins to weigh on him and he’s starting to think he’ll be forever alone. He tells Jongin as much as they’re enjoying a Friday night in. “Can I vent?”

“Shoot.” Jongin shifts, nudging Junmyeon’s thigh with his knee and the warmth is nice. “What is it?”

“I don’t know, it’s just-” Junmyeon takes a long sip from his beer then leans forward to place it on the coffee table. He feels the warm, gentle weight of Jongin’s hand on his back and Jongin looks at him with concern. Junmyeon settles back into the couch and Jongin drapes his arm loosely over Junmyeon’s shoulders. 

“Tell me,” he says, guiding Junmyeon’s head to rest on his shoulder with a hand pressed to his cheek. It’s nice having someone to comfort him, and that familiar warmth he’s begun to associate with Jongin blooms in his chest. 

“This sounds dramatic,” he says, nuzzling his cheek against the soft cotton of Jongin’s t-shirt. “But these days I’ve just been feeling like I’ll never find someone.” He sighs, slightly embarrassed by this confession. “I’m going to be forever alone.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Jongin says, pressing his face to the top of Junmyeon’s head. “You’re a catch, Myeonnie, and any girl who doesn’t see that doesn’t deserve you.”

“I think I’m the problem though. I think my expectations are too high, but I don’t know how to change that.” Jongin’s fingers are moving over Junmyeon’s neck and collarbone and he sighs, his skin tingling. 

“You need to stop watching so many dramas.” Jongin laughs when Junmyeon hits his chest, wrapping his arms around Junmyeon as he tries to wriggle away.

“You sound like Kyungsoo.” 

“In all seriousness,” Jongin says, lifting Junmyeon’s head with a finger tucked under his chin. “You’re going to find someone, and it’s going to be everything you ever wished for, I know it.” He smiles then, and Junmyeon swears his heart just skipped a beat. He doesn’t know what possesses him to do it, (for some reason Jongin is always making him do things he doesn’t understand) but he reaches up and brushes his knuckles over Jongin’s cheek. The younger man’s eyes flutter closed, his breath hitching slightly, and Junmyeon flattens his palm against Jongin’s cheek, suddenly taken with how beautiful he is. He drags his thumb over Jongin’s cheekbone.

“Jongin,” he hears himself say, and Jongin opens his eyes again and Junmyeon is surprised to see that they’ve changed. The softness is gone, replaced by something else entirely and it makes Junmyeon feel like his insides are on fire. This all feels oddly familiar.

Jongin’s hand slides from Junmyeon’s chin to the side of his neck and he rubs his thumb along Junmyeon’s jaw. Everything is moving in slow motion and Junmyeon feels hot and Jongin is leaning in, his eyes on Junmyeon’s mouth. Junmyeon closes his eyes, leaning toward Jongin as if pulled by some magnetic force, and he swears he hears himself whimper as they come together, Jongin’s lips brushing softly against his own. 

The kiss is soft and sweet and over too quickly, Jongin pulling away after only a few seconds. Junmyeon opens his eyes and Jongin is still close and he’s searching Junmyeon’s face. In the back of Junmyeon’s mind there’s a small voice telling him to take a minute and think about what’s happening, but Jongin’s lips are so soft, and his hands are so warm and he looks so gorgeous staring at Junmyeon like he’s the most precious thing in the world and so he leans forward again, capturing Jongin’s full bottom lip between his own. 

Jongin is surprised, if his small gasp is anything to go by, but he recovers quickly, pressing forward and cradling Junmyeon’s face in both hands. Junmyeon reaches up to cover one of Jongin’s hands with his own, the other hand cupping the back of Jongin’s head. Sparks explode in Junmyeon’s belly when Jongin licks tentatively at Junmyeon’s lip, and he opens up for him without a thought. He tastes like beer and his tongue is cold when it presses against Junmyeon’s own, and Junmyeon shivers and whimpers, sliding his fingers into Jongin’s hair and gripping it lightly.

Junmyeon lets himself get lost in Jongin, the taste and feel of his mouth as it moves against his own, the tenderness of his thumb as it drags across his cheek, the scent of him, his cologne, his shampoo, and something else distinctly Jongin. He lets it all wash over him, fueling him, and he tightens his grip on Jongin’s hair, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. 

Jongin responds in kind, grabbing a handful of Junmyeon’s hair and sinking his teeth into Junmyeon’s lip. Things are moving so quickly, but at the same time, it’s as though time has stopped, and Junmyeon’s head is swimming as he slides his hands down to rest against Jongin’s firm chest. It’s been so long since Junmyeon has been with someone in this way and he relishes in the feeling of being wanted. 

He’s breathing harshly through his nose, but Jongin’s kisses are so addicting and he doesn’t want to pull away. He fists his hands in the front of Jongin’s shirt, leaning back against the arm of the couch and pulling Jongin with him, keeping his mouth on Jongin’s the whole time. 

It’s Jongin who pulls away first, panting softly and looking down at him with heavy-lidded eyes. He shifts, allowing Junmyeon to straighten his legs in front of him and then he’s kneeling over him, planting his hands on either side of Junmyeon’s head. He dips forward, brushing his nose over Junmyeon’s cheek and Junmyeon runs his hands up Jongin’s back and to his shoulders. Jongin presses a soft kiss to Junmyeon’s forehead and one to each cheek, before finding his mouth again. “Are you sure about this?” Jongin asks softly, when he pulls away after a moment, and that voice in the back of Junmyeon’s mind speaks up again, telling him to slow down and take a minute to think rationally, but it feels so good to be kissed like this. He doesn’t think he’s drunk, but he has had a few beers and he _is_ making out with his friend, a _guy_ at that, so maybe his judgment has been clouded. As he struggles with his thoughts, Jongin’s brow furrows. “That seems like a no.” He climbs off of Junmyeon, sitting on the edge of the couch. Junmyeon feels a pang of disappointment, but it only takes a second for him to realize how unsure he is about the whole thing.

“Sorry,” he offers, not sure what else to say. Jongin offers him a sad smile and it makes something ping in Junmyeon’s chest. He sits up, reaching out and resting his hand on Jongin’s arm. “Jongin, I’m really sorry, I don’t-” He stops, not sure what to say, because he doesn’t even know what he thinks right now. His brain hasn’t caught up, he feels confused.

“It’s okay,” Jongin says, taking Junmyeon’s hand and raising it to his lips, pressing a kiss to his fingers. “We’ve both had too much to drink, I think. I’m gonna go to bed, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.” Junmyeon gives Jongin’s hand a gentle squeeze before letting go and he watches as Jongin disappears into his bedroom with an unsettled feeling. He flops back against the arm of the couch, pulling the the blanket that’s draped over the back of it down to cover him. He stares at the ceiling, his brain going a mile a minute. He’d never felt that attracted to Jongin before, not even that night at the club, but tonight it was like he was seeing Jongin in a different light, or for the first time, or something like that. It was all so confusing. All he knows is he misses Jongin now that he’s gone.

☆

Junmyeon wakes with a stiff neck and a sour taste in his mouth. He sits up, wincing as his spine pops. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep on the couch, but here he is. He stretches his arms over his head, glancing at Jongin’s door and the memory from the previous night comes rushing back. Nervous energy builds in his chest and he runs his hands over his face. He sits up, swinging his legs over the edge of the couch and cradles his head in his hands. Maybe he had gotten a little more drunk than he felt last night - there’s a unsettled feeling in his gut and an anxious feeling in his chest and his head is kind of pounding. He looks up and sees a glass of water, two pills and a little post it note sitting on the coffee table. He picks up the note.

_since you fell asleep on the couch i figured you probably didn’t drink any water before sleeping. here’s two painkillers since you slept with your neck in a weird position. i’m at my grandmother’s house today. i’ll see you tonight. ps. i’m not running away from you, i already had this planned. we’ll talk when i get back if you want._

Junmyeon smiles to himself. Jongin is so thoughtful. Suddenly Junmyeon has a flash of Jongin hovering over him, looking down at him with blown pupils and red, swollen lips and his stomach flips. He reaches for his phone where it sits on the coffee table.

**MESSAGE TO KYUNGSOO:**  
_What are you up to right now_

**MESSAGE FROM KYUNGSOO:**  
_Just got out of the shower, what’s up?_

**MESSAGE TO KYUNGSOO:**  
_Diner in 30 minutes?_

**MESSAGE FROM KYUNGSOO:**  
_See you then._

☆

“I made out with Jongin last night.” Junmyeon says and Kyungsoo chokes on his home fries.

“You WHAT?” Kyungsoo sputters, chugging from his water glass. Junmyeon waits for him to compose himself before he continues.

“I don’t even know how it happened, Soo. We had a few beers, I don’t even think I was drunk to be honest, and he was comforting me, and then he smiled at me and the next thing I knew…” He looks down at his plate. “Yeah. It’s kind of weird I don’t know.”

“Is it?” Kyungsoo asks.

“You don’t think it’s weird? That I, a straight man, made out with my roommate-slash-childhood best friend? That’s not weird to you?”

“Maybe you’re not as straight as you thought you were.” Kyungsoo gives him a cautious look. Like he’s not quite sure he should be traveling down this path.

Junmyeon takes a moment to consider. “I don’t know, Soo, I’ve always liked girls. I don’t think I’ve ever had this kind of attraction to a man before.”

“So you _are_ attracted to him.”

“I think so? I don’t know, Soo, this is really confusing.” He sets his fork down, running a nervous hand through his hair, then resting his chin in his hand, propped up on the table by an elbow.

“You obviously don’t have to answer,” Kyungsoo says, folding his hands in front of him on the table. “Did you enjoy it?”

Junmyeon nods. That was certain. “I did, but I don’t know if it was because it was him, or because it’s been so long since I’ve been, you know, kissed like that.” He feels his cheeks turning pink as he recalls the way he’d whimpered when Jongin licked into his mouth the first time. He takes a sip of water.

“Honestly,” says Kyungsoo, “you seem pretty affected.”

“I really don’t know what to think.”

“Could you see yourself going further with him? Do you wish things hadn’t stopped when they did.”

“I don’t know. I was disappointed, but I also felt a little bit relieved. The thought of, you know, I’m not opposed to it, but I don’t know if I want it.”

“I understand.” Kyungsoo reaches across the table, closing his hand around Junmyeon’s and rubbing his knuckles and Junmyeon is grateful to have a friend like him.

They’re silent for a few minutes, eating their breakfast, and Junmyeon feels antsy, unsettled, and Kyungsoo takes notice. “Are you gonna be okay? Do you want to stay with me and Baek for a night or so?”

“No.” Junmyeon shakes his head. “He’ll be home tonight and I think he wants to talk. I don’t know what to say to him, Soo. I don’t even know how I feel right now.”

“You can tell him exactly that, Junmyeon. He’s a rational person, I think he’ll understand that.”

“I really enjoyed kissing him, Kyungsoo. I was-” he swallows thickly “I was really into it in the moment. And aesthetically he’s very attractive.” A flash of Jongin’s smile “Really, _so_ attractive.” He lets himself chuckle. “But I’m straight. I’ve always…”

“You don’t have to decide right now, Junmyeon. Just make sure you’re honest with him. That’s always the best plan.”

Junmyeon nods his agreement.

“It’ll be okay, Myeon.”

Junmyeon’s not so sure.

☆

Junmyeon is catching up on a drama when Jongin comes home that night. He hears the lock turn and his stomach somersaults. He’s been rehearsing what he’ll say to Jongin all afternoon, but now that the time has come, he thinks he might be sick.

When Jongin walks through the front door, Junmyeon feels his heartbeat quicken. He looks so cute with his oversized hoodie and his hear is a mess, probably from the wind. Junmyeon wants to smooth it. 

“Hi.” Jongin says with a smile when he sees Junmyeon sitting on the couch in the living room. Junmyeon tries to read his expression, but he comes up with nothing. 

“Hey.” He says in response, trying not to show how nervous he is.

“My grandmother sent home some sundubujjigae.” He holds up two plastic bags, showing them to Junmyeon. “Do you want me to heat some up for you.”

 _He’s going to just pretend nothing happened, I see_ , Junmyeon thinks. “No thank you.” He says. He’s not so hungry right now.

“Okay.” He says, disappearing into the kitchen for few seconds. “It’s in the fridge if you change your mind. I’m going to go change, but I’ll be right back out.” He looks down at his feet, then up at Junmyeon. “We’ll talk.”

Junmyeon feels both relieved that Jongin’s not going to pretend that nothing happened and terrified that he has to voice his feelings aloud when he’s not even sure he understands them himself. He forces himself to breathe, repeating _everything will be fine_ like a mantra.

When Jongin emerges from his bedroom, he’s in his LA Lakers pajama pants and a threadbare t-shirt that clings to his lean frame. Junmyeon forces himself to look away.

Jongin walks to the couch, sitting down next to Junmyeon. “Hi.” he says after a beat of silence, and Junmyeon briefly wonders if Jongin is as nervous as he is about the conversation they’re about to have.

“So,” Junmyeon says, not knowing what to add to that, so he falls silent, feeling like an idiot.

“So.” Jongin repeats. He nudges Junmyeon’s arm with his shoulder and Junmyeon knows that this gesture is supposed to be playful, to lighten the mood, but Jongin’s touch sends his heart and mind into confusion. He leans away.

Junmyeon is about to begin his rehearsed speech, about how much he enjoyed kissing Jongin, but how unsure he is about anything past then when Jongin begins. “So I think we both maybe got a little too drunk last night.” He says, looking down at his lap. Junmyeon waits to see if Jongin has anything to add to that. “Tell me if I’m wrong about this,” Jongin says, looking Junmyeon in the eye. “but I think last night was just a drunken mistake.” He holds Junmyeon’s gaze, almost as if he’s challenging Junmyeon to disagree. Junmyeon feels his chest deflate, and he _wants_ to disagree, but if that’s what Jongin thinks, then that’s probably true.

“I think you’re right.” It doesn’t quite feel right on his tongue, but he’s very confused about the whole thing and maybe Jongin has a better grasp on things. He’ll trust him. 

Jongin looks back down at his lap. “I think maybe we’re both just feeling lonely, and we had too much to drink, and I shouldn’t have-” He swallows audibly. “I shouldn’t have made a move on you. Forgive me?” He looks back up at Junmyeon and he’s so hard to read. 

“Don’t be silly.” He tries his best to smile warmly, unsure if this is really how he wanted this to go. It seems to be enough for Jongin, who smiles at him, patting his cheek affectionately. 

“I’m glad you’re not upset. Let’s just pretend it never happened.”

“Yeah.” Junmyeon says, “Okay.”

☆

Pretending it never happened was difficult at first, but the more time that passes, the easier it becomes. After a few weeks, Junmyeon has even begun to think Jongin was probably right. The two of them have fallen back into the same old comfortable routine. Sure, Kyungsoo shoots him knowing glances when Jongin snuggles up to Junmyeon’s side on movie night, wrapping his arms around Junmyeon’s waist and nuzzling against his neck. But Junmyeon feels happy, relieved that nothing has really changed. It feels good to be close to Jongin, to be held by him, and Junmyeon is able to separate this from anything romantic. He still finds himself staring at Jongin when he’s not looking, his eyes lingering on Jongin’s mouth, but he’s over whatever silly crush he’d had. That’s what he keeps telling himself anyway.

☆

“Sorry it didn’t turn out,” Baekhyun says, giving Junmyeon a hug as he greets him at the door.

“I’m used to it by now.” It’s his fourth failed date in as many weeks, and as sad as it sounds, he’s not even really that upset over it anymore. He’s pretty much accepted his fate as eternal bachelor.

“Well, come and sit and drink your troubles away.” Baekhyun offers him a warm smile and a cold beer.

Junmyeon flops on the couch, putting his feet up on the coffee table and running a hand through his hair. “I’m about to give up.”

“You’ll find her, Myeon.” Kyungsoo looks like he has more he wants to say, but he doesn’t.

“What is it, exactly, that you’re looking for?” Baekhyun asks after glancing at Kyungsoo.

“I don’t know. I’ve always kind of just thought I’d know when I see it, you know?”

“Well what are you looking for in a relationship?” 

“I-” He draws a blank. He’s focused so much on the first date that he hasn’t really stopped to think that far past it. 

“Forget about the first date,” says Baekhyun, throwing his legs over Kyungsoo’s. “Think a year into the relationship. What do you see?” Kyungsoo places a hand on Baekhyun’s thigh, thumbing at the seam of his pants and _that_ is what Junmyeon wants in a relationship - that comfort and closeness.

“I want what you guys have.” He gestures to the pair of them. “I want someone I’m comfortable with. I want to share everything. I want someone I can’t wait to spend the day with. Someone who will just lay on the couch all day with me and watch dramas. Someone who makes me feel like I can be myself and who will call me on my bullshit and clean up my messes and-” he sighs, and Kyungsoo gives him a loaded look. “What?”

“Do you want my honest opinion?” 

“No, but you’re going to give it to me anyway.”

“It sounds like you’re describing Jongin.” 

Junmyeon’s first instinct is to protest, but after thinking about it for a second he realizes that Kyungsoo has a point. “I don’t know, Kyungsoo, yes, Jongin fits all of those things, but…he’s Jongin. He’s my best friend from childhood. My roommate. He’s a man.”

“Is that the part that’s hanging you up, Junmyeon?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Yes and no? I’m not opposed to it, but my whole entire life I’ve been attracted to women, and _only_ women, so it’s hard for me to know if I’m actually attracted to him. Maybe it’s just very strong platonic feelings.”

“Well, we know you enjoyed kissing him.” Baekhyun offers.

“Well yeah, but-“

“So it sounds like you’re at least, on some level, attracted to him, right?”

“Yeah.” Junmyeon would be lying if he said he hasn’t replayed that night in his head countless times, at least part of him wishing it could happen again. “I did enjoy it, but when I think about it, really think about being in a relationship with him it scares me a little bit. Besides, I doubt he’s even interested, he’s the one that said we should pretend it never happened.”

“You never know.”

“Can we change the subject? I just want to forget about my sad love life.” 

“Yeah okay.” Kyungsoo gives him a sympathetic look.

They turn their attention toward the TV, but now that Kyungsoo has brought it up, Junmyeon can’t help thinking about Jongin. About the way he looks when he wakes up in the morning, his eyes swollen and his hair a mess and his tank top hanging loosely off his lean frame. He can’t help but think about how safe and warm he feels when Jongin cuddles him on the couch, tucking Junmyeon’s head beneath his chin and stroking his back. He thinks about the way Jongin’s lips had tasted, the way his fingers felt carding through Junmyeon’s hair and he curses. “Fuck”

Baekhyun and Kyungsoo look at him, startled. “Are you okay buddy?”

“I don’t know you guys. The more I think about it the more I think you might be right. I really want to kiss him again. Like a lot.”

Baekhyun grins. “That’s good!”

“Is it? For all I know he thinks of me as his big brother or something. He probably doesn’t even like me that way and here I am with a- would you call this a crush? I don’t even know what this is I just know I like the way I feel when I’m with him and I really want to kiss him again.” He takes 3 quick gulps of his beer before slamming it down on the coffee table and slumping back against the couch. “I need to get a grip.”

“Get a grip on his _dick_.”

Junmyeon chucks a pillow at Baekhyun’s head.

☆

Junmyeon hasn’t been able to stop thinking about his conversation with Baekhyun and Kyungsoo and every time he’s around Jongin his heart beats a little faster and butterflies take flight in his gut and he was right. It’s _not_ a crush. At this point he thinks it’s gone beyond that.

Lately, when Jongin insists on sleeping in Junmyeon’s bed because his room is too cold, Junmyeon can’t relax, his heart pounding as Jongin presses his chest to Junmyeon’s back and wraps his arms around Junmyeon’s waist. When Jongin leaves Junmyeon little encourage notes on his laptop, or cooks him breakfast, or smiles, or simply _exists_ , Junmyeon feels _so much_ for him and it makes his chest ache.

☆

Junmyeon doesn’t even know why he agreed to this coffee date. He’s been so preoccupied with thoughts of Jongin, but Kyungsoo told him if he wasn’t going to confess, then he needed to move on, and Junmyeon knew he was right.

But as he sits here across the table from yet another lovely and beautiful woman who is trying her best to keep Junmyeon engaged in conversation, his thoughts are on Jongin, and he realizes he’s wasting his time. He misses Jongin, can’t wait to go home to him.

He excuses himself, feeling kind of awful for cutting their date short, but he’s pretty sure he’d been a lousy date anyway.

☆

“You’re home early.” Jongin says, looking up from his book. He’s freshly showered, his hair still wet and it looks so soft. He’s wearing his glasses too, and Junmyeon is overwhelmed with the urge to kiss him.

“Yeah, she wasn’t what I had in mind.”

Jongin gives him a sympathetic frown, patting the couch next to him and folding down the corner of the page he’s reading before closing the book and placing it on the coffee table. “Come here.”

Junmyeon shuffles over to the couch, flopping down and allowing himself to be wrapped in an enveloping hug. Usually this is something that would calm him, but considering the circumstances, it only serves to quicken his heartbeat. 

Jongin cards his fingers through Junmyeon’s hair, scratching his fingernails gently over Junmyeon’s scalp and Junmyeon’s skin tingles. “Listen,” Jongin says, pressing his face against the top of Junmyeon’s head. “I have a thing tonight, but after I’ll bring home a carton of ice cream and we’ll pick a new drama and marathon it okay? I should only be gone a few hours.”

“Are you helping your grandmother again? I can come with you.”

Jongin’s hand stops playing with his hair and Junmyeon feels him shift. “Actually, I have a date.”

Junmyeon feels a pang of something painful in his chest and his stomach turns. He sits up, looking at Jongin’s face. It almost seems like Jongin is searching his face for something, but Junmyeon doesn’t know what he’s looking for. “A date?” He manages to say when the silence has gone on for too long.

“Yeah. He’s a friend of a friend from the studio. He thinks we’d hit it off well, so I thought I’d give it a shot.” He’s still holding Junmyeon’s gaze, and Junmyeon has to look away.

“That’s good then,” he forces himself to say. “I’m happy for you.”

“There’s nothing to be happy for me about yet, it might be a disaster.”

“I doubt it.” Junmyeon feels sick.

“I’m going to go get ready.”

Junmyeon falls back against the arm of the couch, cursing his bad timing.

Junmyeon has every intention of letting Jongin go, but when he emerges from his room some time later in a snug cream sweater and pair of skinny black trousers his heart skips a beat. He can’t stop staring.

“What?” Jongin smiles.

“Don’t go.”

“What? Junmyeon, I’ll only be gone for a few hours at the most. If you want company I’m sure Kyungsoo will come over.”

“No, I mean-” Junmyeon takes a deep breath. “Don’t go on this date.”

“Junmyeon?” Jongin is frowning at him now, and Junmyeon wants it to stop. Jongin should never be sad.

“Can you sit down? Just for a minute?”

Jongin looks hesitant but he crosses the room and sits next to Junmyeon on the couch. “What’s going on, Myeonnie?”

Junmyeon hadn’t thought this through very well. He wasn’t planning on confessing like this, but Jongin is looking at him so earnestly and he figures now’s a good a time as any. He doesn’t even know what he’s going to say, but he just opens his mouth and starts talking, hoping for the best. “Things have been kind of confusing for me lately. I’ve been so focused on finally finding a nice girl and settling down and I’ve had this perfect picture in my head of what she’d be and no one ever lived up to that picture.” He takes a deep breath, chancing a glance at Jongin, who is watching him with a mix of concern and confusion. Junmyeon reaches out, taking one of Jongin’s hands in his own. He half expects Jongin to retract his hand, but he doesn’t. “Fuck, I’m really nervous.”

“Junmyeon, what is going on?”

“I think,” Junmyeon starts hesitantly. “I think I’ve been searching so hard for something that was actually right here all along.”

“Myeon?”

“I still don’t really know what I’m doing, Jongin, cuz I’ve never- I didn’t think I was gay, but then you…kissed me, and you’re actually really beautiful and perfect, did you know that? But it was actually really confusing because you’re a guy and I never…” Junmyeon sighs in frustration. This is really not going the way he wanted. He’s not even making any sense and Jongin’s face is completely unreadable right now.

An uncomfortable moment of silence passes between them and Junmyeon feels like shriveling into nothing, but then Jongin speaks. “Go on.” He says, and Junmyeon detects a hint of something warm and soft and hopeful in his eyes and Junmyeon decides, fuck it, it’s worth the risk.

“What I’m trying to say,” Junmyeon says, rubbing his thumb over Jongin’s fingers. “I think I might love you a little bit. A lot actually,” he adds when Jongin doesn’t look completely mortified by this confession. “Kind of a lot. So just…Don’t go on that date, okay? Cuz I-” Junmyeon doesn’t even get a chance to finish that thought because Jongin is kissing him. 

It only takes a moment for Junmyeon’s brain to catch up and then he’s kissing Jongin back, running his tongue over the seam of Jongin’s mouth and _god_ he missed this, even if he didn’t want to admit it. Jongin’s hand cups Junmyeon’s cheek and he curls his tongue against Junmyeon’s own before pulling away. He presses his forehead to Junmyeon’s, sliding his hands into Junmyeon’s hair and Junmyeon isn’t ready to stop kissing. He closes the short distance between them, covering Jongin’s mouth with his own once again and Jongin fists his hands in Junmyeon’s hair. Junmyeon whimpers into Jongin’s open mouth and Jongin sinks his teeth into Junmyeon’s lip tugging gently. 

Junmyeon feels like a dam has burst, all the feelings he’s been keeping back now rushing forward and he feels so overwhelmed with it that he starts to laugh against Jongin’s mouth. 

“You okay?” Jongin asks, his lips catching on Junmyeon’s.

“Yes.” Junmyeon breathes, and then he’s kissing Jongin again. Junmyeon’s hands find Jongin’s waist, and he slides his fingers under the hem of Jongin’s shirt. Jongin’s skin is so soft and smooth under Junmyeon’s fingertips and he and whimpers against Junmyeon’s mouth. Their tongues tangle and Junmyeon’s breathing is labored and he feels so light and so warm and so _good_.

After a few moments, Junmyeon’s not really sure how long, Jongin pulls away. “I should um.” He pecks Junmyeon’s lips. “I have to make a phone call.” Another peck. “Don’t go anywhere.”

Junmyeon laughs. Where the fuck is he going to go? “I’ll be right here.”

Jongin kisses him again, lingering, before disappearing into his room.

Junmyeon’s cheeks feel hot, and his heart is pounding and he feels a bit like he’s floating. His mind is still catching up. He had no intention of confessing today, but he’s thinking at the moment that things could not have turned out better. 

After a few minutes, Jongin emerges from his room and he smiles at Junmyeon. “Hi,” he says, and then he’s crossing the room with long strides. Before Junmyeon even has time to process anything, Jongin is straddling him on the couch, kissing him, and Junmyeon’s hands find the younger man’s hips. 

Junmyeon is finding it hard to breathe, Jongin’s mouth moving against his own and his hands fisting in Junmyeon’s hair. Junmyeon’s fingers close around the fabric of Jongin’s shirt and he whimpers when Jongin’s hips shift, putting pressure on Junmyeon’s crotch. It surprises Junmyeon and he breaks away from Jongin’s mouth. “I’ve never…I don’t know what I’m doing,” he says and then buries his face in Jongin’s shoulder, suddenly feeling embarrassed. 

Jongin cradles his face, guiding Junmyeon to look at him. “Just do what feels natural,” he says, leaving a gentle, quick kiss on Junmyeon’s mouth. “I can lead you if you think you need it.” Another kiss. “Or we can stop if you’re not ready, just tell me what you want.”

Junmyeon knows he doesn’t want to stop. That much is certain, so he kisses him again, pressing his fingertips into Jongin’s hips and dragging them forward. When Jongin’s ass presses down against his dick Junmyeon moans, rolling his own hips upwards and he sucks Jongin’s bottom lip into his mouth.

“I don’t think you need my help.” Jongin says when he pulls away, and then he’s mouthing at Junmyeon’s neck and Junmyeon lets his head fall to the side, giving Jongin more access. Things are moving so fast, but it feels like it’s taken forever to get to this point and Junmyeon can’t get enough.

Junmyeon twists, lowering himself so he’s laying on the couch and Jongin hovers over him, settling between his legs. He dips his head, nipping at Junmyeon’s collarbone, and Junmyeon’s hips lift of their own accord. That’s when he feels Jongin’s cock, halfway to hard, pressing against his hip and he stills. It’s not unwelcome, but it’s definitely different, and Jongin can sense his unease.

“I’m sorry,” Jongin says lifting up so he’s resting on his elbows. “This is moving too fast, I know you’ve never done this, I’m sorry.”

It’s true, Junmyeon thinks. This might be too much too soon, but at the same time he doesn’t want to stop. He runs his hands over Jongin’s back to reassure him that he’s okay, lifting up to press a tender kiss to Jongin’s neck. “You’re sweet.”

“Do you want to stop?”

“I don’t know, honestly, but I don’t think so.” He digs his teeth into Jongin’s collarbone and Jongin’s hips jerk. They both whimper. 

“Do you want to just-” he drops a kiss on Junmyeon’s neck. “Do you want to move to bed?” His teeth scrape over Junmyeon’s collarbone. “We don’t have to do anything, just.” Another kiss. “We can just sleep, or kiss, or” he sucks on Junmyeon’s earlobe. “Whatever you want.”

“Yeah, let’s do that.”

“Your room or mine.”

“I have a bigger bed.”

“So mine then.” Jongin waggles his eyebrows and Junmyeon is suddenly so overwhelmed with love and affection for this man.

“Okay, yours then.”

Jongin climbs off of him, helping him off the couch, and as soon as Junmyeon is on his feet, Jongin wraps his arms around Junmyeon’s waist again and kisses him tenderly. Junmyeon’s legs feel like jelly. He lets himself be led to Jongin’s bedroom, and once inside nerves bubble up within him. They stand there awkwardly for a moment, but then Jongin is unbuttoning his pants, stripping down to his boxers and climbing into the bed. Junmyeon stands there frozen for a moment, but then he does the same, climbing in after him. 

Jongin immediately wraps his arms around Junmyeon, pulling him close and kissing him again, and Junmyeon lets himself get lost in it. If he stopped to think about it, maybe he’d feel weird about the fact that he’s never been with a man before, but Jongin makes him feel safe and loved and wanted and it just feels natural to run his tongue along the seam of Jongin’s mouth, to push Jongin onto his back and slot his thigh between Jongin’s legs. 

“Junmyeon,” Jongin whispers against his mouth. He slides his hand down to Junmyeon’s ass, giving it a gentle squeeze and Junmyeon bucks against him, feeling the hard outline of Jongin’s dick so clearly against his leg with nothing but the thin fabric of their boxers between them.

Junmyeon presses his thigh further between Jongin’s legs and Jongin moans, biting into Junmyeon’s lip. “Shit” Junmyeon gasps, surprised by the sharp sensation, but it spurs him on. He digs his fingers into Jongin’s sides, rolling onto his back and pulling Jongin with him. 

Everything slows down then, Jongin taking a moment to settle between his legs, looking down at him and brushing his hair out of his eyes. He rubs his thumb over Junmyeon’s hairline, dropping a soft kiss to his forehead. “I love you too.” Jongin says out of nowhere, and Junmyeon’s heart fills to the brim. He grins.

They spend a moment looking at each other, Junmyeon dragging his fingernails over Jongin’s back and Jongin rubbing his thumb over Junmyeon’s forehead. Junmyeon’s heart is pounding and his gut is twisting pleasantly, and he feels so overwhelmed he wants to cry. He cranes his neck to kiss Jongin again. It starts slow and soft and tender, but before long, they’re licking into each other’s mouths, nipping at each other’s lips, their hands roaming each other’s bodies and Junmyeon can feel his arousal building. 

To Junmyeon’s surprise, this all feels so natural. If he’d thought about this moment (which, to be honest, he definitely did), he’d have thought that it would be awkward, being with a man for the first time, but it feels like second nature sliding his hands down Jongin’s back and to his ass to squeeze it. Jongin’s hips grind between Junmyeon’s legs and Junmyeon can feel his dick filling from the friction. “Fuck” he curses under his breath and Jongin tugs on Junmyeon’s hair. 

“I’d like to make you feel good.” Jongin says as he mouths at Junmyeon’s neck and collarbones. “Do you want that?”

“Yes” Junmyeon gasps, digging his fingernails into the supple flesh of Jongin’s ass. 

Jongin begins a slow trail of wet, open-mouthed kisses from behind Junmyeon’s ear, down his neck and over his chest. He closes his mouth around a nipple and Junmyeon’s back arches off the bed, his dick hard and pressing against the front of his boxers. It’s been so long. Jongin’s tongue flicks over the hardened bud and Junmyeon’s hips lift, his dick pressing against Jongin’s, and they both moan.

Jongin shifts so that he can leave a trail of kisses over Junmyeon’s torso, his teeth scraping over Junmyeon’s ribs. Junmyeon buries his fingers in Jongin’s hair, urging his head downwards. He’s beyond turned on - his heart is pounding and his skin is on fire and there’s heat simmering in his belly. 

Jongin looks up at Junmyeon as he mouths at his abs and Junmyeon whimpers, grinding his very hard dick against Jongin’s chest. “Can I?” he asks as his fingers hook under the waistband of Junmyeon’s boxers.

“Please,” Junmyeon gasps, lifting his hips and allowing Jongin to rid him of his boxers. There’s no time to feel embarrassed because Jongin is kissing his dick and Junmyeon bites into his lip, tightening his grip on Jongin’s hair. 

When the crown of his cock disappears between Jongin’s lips Junmyeon throws his head back, scratching over Jongin’s scalp and trying so hard to keep his hips from bucking into Jongin’s mouth.

Jongin slides his hands up Junmyeon’s torso, running his thumbs over Junmyeon’s nipples as his mouth takes as much of Junmyeon’s cock as it can. Junmyeon wills his hips to stay still.

Junmyeon’s eyes close, his head digging back into the pillow and he tugs on Jongin’s hair. His mouth is so wet and warm and Junmyeon thinks no one has ever sucked him so well. He spreads his legs, digging his heels into the bed and lifting up slightly, thrusting shallowly into Jongin’s mouth and Jongin takes it so well, moaning as he bobs on Junmyeon’s length.

Junmyeon loses himself in the feeling of Jongin’s mouth on him, sucking him so well, sending a shivers up his spine and causing warmth to radiate through his body. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt so good. 

Just as Junmyeon feels like he’s about to come, Jongin pulls off, leaving a sensual trail of kisses up his body to his lips. He maneuvers himself out of his boxers, kissing Junmyeon the whole time, then lowers himself between Junmyeon’s legs, thrusting against him, and he whimpers against Junmyeon’s mouth as his cock drags over Junmyeon’s. 

They rut against each other, kissing messily, and Junmyeon tangles his legs with Jongin’s, hooking his feet behind Jongin’s knees, and it gives him the leverage needed to rock against Jongin’s hard, leaking cock.

Jongin buries one hand in Junmyeon’s hair as the other hand disappears between them to close around both of their cocks. He tugs a few times, retracting his hand for a moment to spit into his palm, and then he’s stroking them again, grinding against Junmyeon as his hand moves over them and Junmyeon is about to burst.

The slide of Jongin’s cock against his own is slick and hot and it’s so much different from anything Junmyeon has ever experienced, but it’s better, too, because it’s Jongin, and Junmyeon feels a pleasant pressure pushing on his heart. “I love you,” he says, overwhelmed with it, and Jongin lets out a choked kind of sob, dipping to kiss him hungrily. Junmyeon can feel himself getting close and he breaks away from Jongin’s kiss to moan when Jongin tightens his grip on their cocks, flicking his wrist.

Junmyeon digs his fingers into Jongin’s ass as he grinds against him and with a few more strokes of Jongin’s hand, he’s coming between them, covering them both in a sticky mess. Jongin keeps stroking, sucking on Junmyeon’s jaw and grinding against him and Junmyeon whimpers, his hips jerking. Junmyeon sucks Jongin’s earlobe into his mouth, rolling it between his teeth, and Jongin lets out a shuddering moan as he comes over his hand and Junmyeon’s cock.

Junmyeon noses at Jongin’s jaw, and Jongin sighs, wiping his hand on the sheet next to Junmyeon’s shoulder, before rolling them onto their sides. “Gross,” Junmyeon laughs and he wraps his arms around Jongin. They’re sticky and sweaty and Junmyeon’s skin starts to itch, but he doesn’t really care. He kisses Jongin softly, scratching his nails down Jongin’s back.

“How are you?” Jongin asks when he pulls away a minute later.

“Happy.” Junmyeon says wiping a bead of sweat off Jongin’s temple with his knuckle. “This is not how I was expecting my night to go, I assure you.” He kisses Jongin’s nose. “But I’m so happy it did.”

“Same.” 

Junmyeon runs a hand over his stomach and there’s cum drying there and it’s really starting to feel uncomfortable. “I think I need a shower though.” 

“Same.” Jongin yawns, draping an arm and a leg over Junmyeon. “But later.” 

“Later.” Junmyeon repeats. Later sounds good. They’ve got all the time in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> on LJ [here](http://suhoneyfest.livejournal.com/7446.html)!


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